Tuesday, August 30, 2016

The haze is back.

Every year, I hate Indonesia. They never learn. I have no desire to even visit Indonesia. Tak minat.

Did I tell you guys about my previous maid?

One day last year, during the haze season, she bakar sampah.

Niece: Bau apa ni?
Maid: Saya bakar sampah...
Me: Apa! Awak bakar sampah? Padam, padam! Di Malaysia mana boleh bakar sampah! Nanti kena saman!
Mother: Baik awak padam api tu sebelum jiran complaint!
Husband: Dahlah sekarang ni berjerebu. Awak ni tambah jerebu.
Maid: Saya mahu halau nyamuk...

-____-

Then, I realized, that's just how they live. They don't know about ozone. They don't understand the consequence of open burning. They burn and destroy their forests.

And that's why education is important.
Stress betul kalau tengok video budak kena pukul lah, cedera lah, in pain lah...Hish...Sensitif tau!

Kadang-kadang, dapat client yang dibuang keluarga.

Me: How could you dump your own family members?
Colleague: Well...You don't know what they did to them. My ex-boss always reminds me that.

Betul juga kot...Sebab saya pernah dapat client yang kaki botol, suka pukul isteri. Satu hari, dia accident sampai putus kedua-dua kaki. Tapi mulut masih celupar! Patutlah Tuhan bayar cash.

So, tak boleh judge orang lah.

Kanak-kanak juga yang paling innocent and pure. I love you kiddo... =(

Hari tu, Abang K mengamuk. He was tired and he missed his father. He was crying, "Nak Daddy! Nak Daddy!"

We tried to ignore at first, but he went on and on. So, I showed him a video, "Abang K, tengok budak ni kotor. Kenapa?"

He stopped crying and watched the Aleppo boy covered in dust, blood on his head.

Me: Tengok budak ni. Kesian dia...Kotor kena habuk.
Son: Kenapa tu?
Me: Dia sakit. Tengok, ada darah dekat kepala.
Son: Kenapa?
Me: Ada orang jahat bom rumah dia.
Son: Dia nak pergi mana tu?
Me: Dia nak naik ambulans, nak jumpa doktor. Kepala dia sakit, berdarah. Tapi dia brave boy. Strong boy. Dia tak nangis pun. Daddy dia tak ada, Mommy dia tak ada.
Son: Mana Mommy and Daddy dia?
Me: Mommy and Daddy dia sakit juga. Kena bom.

Budak kot...Budak patutnya happy dan disayangi...Sigh...

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Being the super laid-back Mom that I am, I never really emphasize academic education on my children. Other kids recognize 123, go to playschool, sings ABC, but not mine.

Yeah...Sebenarnya, I ni mak malas. And I also let my son use the iPad.

Me: Abang K, what are you watching? Tengoklah ABC, 123, Alif Ba Ta!
Him: Nooooooooo!!! Tak nak pergi school! Nak work like Mommy and Daddy!

But, I did have high hopes. I used to imagine I would be some kind of super mom. I bought all these flash cards but I never used them.

Earlier this week, my son was bored. I was bored. Then, I found the unopened boxes! He got excited. My niece jadi sibuk, as usual.

Niece: Abang K, what's this?
Son: Thirteen.
Niece: What's this?
Son: Triangle.
Niece: Okay, what's this?
Son: S...
Niece: No, this is number five lah...

I totally didn't have any expectation whatsoever, so, you can imagine how my jaw dropped.

Now I know that he knows, but chooses to pretend to not know!

Even though I should not take credit for his intelligence (beause I never really taught him), I was a proud Mommy nevertheless!

Yeay! Can't believe I got really, really excited over this. It's not amazing because he's already 3 years old, but...but...What a delightful surprise!
I had a hard time accepting the new maid. She is not as good as the previous two maids. We did complaint to the agent, but was told to give her some time. We did, up until the point that all we do now is- redha je lahhhh...

Anyway...

I think my maid is racist.

"Di sini, ada juga Cina yang miskin ya..."
"Di sini, banyak orang India."
"Orang Cina tak ada yang berkulit gelap."
"Kok di Malaysia ada berita bahasa India?"

----

Today, she told me about her son.

"Bapanya belum bawa dia pergi bersunat. Katanya, tak reti menjaga lepas bersunat. Anak saya itu sudah 12 tahun. Kalau lambat, nanti dia malu...
Itulah...Dulu ada isteri, dipukul-pukul, diceraikan..."
- my maid just got a divorce a few months ago.

My last maid pun complaint husband suka pukul. Tapi husband alim, ustadz.

Domestic abuse. Adakah ini masalah mereka di kalangan masyarakat bersosioekonomi rendah?

Maid: Rajin juga bapa memasak, ya...(Referring to my brother). Isterinya duduk saja...
Me: Ya, dia suka memasak. Minat mencuba masakan baru.
Maid: Suami saya tu, langsung tak pernah menolong. Duduk saja.
Me: Mungkin sebab ibunya mengajar begitu.
Maid: Iya...Ibunya tak pernah menegur anaknya itu, walaupun suami saya memukul saya.
Me: .....

Tak tahulah cerita betul ke, atau sekadar nak raih simpati...But I'm thankful my husband has never laid his hand on me.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

We all have had interesting encounters with our clients.

My colleague today told me about her client who cried in her room. "Her husband left her for a Filipino girl. They have 5 children together. They had been married for 13 years."

"What happened?"

"Her ex-husband is an engineer. He works in the Philippines. She would visit him every now and then. Then, she noticed his house was always neat. That's how she knew."

"She told me, always put your name and your husband's name together whenever you buy properties. Always! Now, her husband is taking the house, the car, the children, everything! She's only 35."

My other colleague said: Leave the children lah. Why so sebok with the children, he has a new wife, go make kids with the new woman lah.

"The husband already has 2 kids with that woman."

-----

Yeah, so...You will never know what will happen.

Although, it only sounds so rational to share ownership of properties...

But how do you ask for it from your husband?

-----

Colleague: Do you get monthly allowance from your husband?

Me: No. I never really ask for it. I know some people who do get the monthly allowance though. Is that how it supposed to be?

Colleague: I don't know. I'm not married yet. My friend is asking me.

Me: But, my husband pays for the maid and the car. And he pays whenever we go out. When he is in town, he makes sure the cars have enough gas, enough credits on my Smart Tag...He sends the cars for services and carwash. He also gives money to my mom every month. I don't know how much, but he does. So, I think, that's enough.

Colleague: Wahhh...So good...Plus, you are also working, so you have your own money.

Me: True. I don't really depend on him. Actually, when we first got married, we lived separately, meaning, we buy our own things lah. Then, when I moved to his hometown, I helped a lot. Sekarang ni baru okay sikit.

Colleague: So, I guess, you do get monthly allowance, just not fixed.

Me: Yeah. Come to think of it, actually, I don't spend that much. I think, I only pay for stuff I bought online. I bought a lot of baby stuff online and they are expensive! I bought baju too, because, you know, I can't shop when the kids are around.

-----

So, is it too much if I were to tell him: Hey, you should put my name too on this. But you pay for it!

Haha.

I think it all boils down to how well you are communicating with each other.

Or...You could simply volunteer to pay half of it, as long as your name is on it.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

I have been away from my son for 4 days today. He is away in kampung with my husband.

Besar dah anak I. He is 3 years old. And my husband said he didn't even ask for me. Say whaaattt...Why don't you miss Mommy!!!

It's a blessing in disguise. I could concentrate more on my daughter. I could play with her. And I could rest a little bit more, sleep earlier, and I don't have to worry about making my son take his shower and eat his dinner...

But, this is not the life I want forever. Before my husband left the house, we had a quarrel over the phone. Then, my overthinking mind start to imagine: is this how it feels like if we get a divorce...

Anyway, I'm glad I have a dependable husband that could take care of our children. Despite his flaws, I think he is the best for me. I hope he feels the same way about me too.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Sometimes, I meet people and I go like, "That used to be me."

When I meet the bad ones, I am embarassed. Wow, why was I like this before, oh my God!

If I meet the good ones, I would be all missing my previous self. Where are you now, young and fun Ectopy?

I guess, I am old enough to appreciate that people change. I now hate less and I don't mind a lot more now. So much cooler...

Am I a better person now? Well, not necessarily, I can never be perfect.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

People say it's difficult to love your children equally.

But so far, I love both my children equally, just longer for my firstborn (d

When Baby H was born, I gave extra attention to Big Brother K so he wouldn't get jealous or feel left out. I didn't want to scar him like I was scarred when I first received my baby sister.

Thank God, Big Brother K loves his sister. He is always kissing her, I think it's because she's so cute, he can't resist himself. He never tries to hurt Baby H intentionally. Although, sometimes he plays too rough, when he covers her sister with a blanket (playing ghost/ monster/ hide and seek), or puts his butt at his sister's face because he wants to pretend fart Baby H...

Initially, I think I ignored Baby H most of the time. She was just a baby, she didn't react, except when she was hungry and wanting to sleep. Other than that, my time and attention went to Big Brother K.

But now, she is growing up so fast. Independent and cheerful. How can I not love this baby who is not as fussy as her brother, gives in a lot, gentle and has to let her Mother work before she was even 3 months old.

Just now, Baby H was already sleeping and Big Brother K was about to fall asleep when Baby H suddenly cried. Big Brother K quickly joined me to hush her. I nursed Baby H and Big Brother K hugged both of us and stroked Baby H's head, half asleep.

My heart melted.

Big Brother K- so loving and kind.
Baby H- so patient, gentle and cheerful.

Baby H has giggled several times since she turned 3 months old. So far, the only reason she giggles is watching Big Brother K doing something silly.

I pray they would have the best sibling relationship until they die. :)

Friday, July 22, 2016

I don't want to get angry but I am angry. I don't know who should I be angry at.

I'm angry at my maid. She said she would come back. We were so nice, she received a lot of money, renewed her permit, let her go home before her contract ends (she was with us only for a year). I thought we treated her well, out of mercy, because she too have children, and it would be cruel if we forbid her from seeing her children. Mother gave her an android phone, even bought new clothes from her children.

She didn't come back. I am angry because to me, it is pecah amanah. Serve me right, for trusting her too much. We just started to feel comfortable with her. Sure, we let her go bearing the risks. And now, padan muka sendiri lah kan.

Jadi, nak marah diri sendiri ke? Eh, maid yang buat hal, kenapa kena marah diri sendiri pulak. Maid tu yang patut kena marah!

This will be my third year hiring a maid. One for each year. Beribu-ribu each time. Eh, bazir betul lah. Baik I duduk rumah je. Gatal sangat nak kerja. Nak harapkan orang tolong jaga anak kita, tapi sendiri yang sakit hati.

And I was so confident that if we treat people right, Allah akan mudahkan. What does this mean? There's something wrong with the way we treated her? Eee...Geram betullah. I taknak marah diri sendiri, I don't deserve this. But I am so angry!

Sunday, July 17, 2016

We let the helper go back to Indonesia for 2 weeks.

She was due to come back yesterday. She didn't show up.

We trusted her. She received so much incentives. It is her loss if she didn't come back. But why can't she let us know?

My heart is still praying for a miracle.

When we called the Indonesian number, a lady answered.
"Saya tak kenal sama dia...Saya jumpa telefon ini, tadi ada kecelakaan, jadi saya ambil telefon ini."

Accident --> missed flight
Lost phone, perhaps even Passport and permit card.
No cash to buy a new ticket.
No phone to contact us.
Did not jot down our numbers.

Where are you, Bibik!

If the accident was true, I hope she is fine and not dying or something.

But, if she made things up, I hope she's in hell.

The worrying part is: I don't want to burden Mother.

We don't care about finding the a new maid. Duit boleh dicari. Bibik is replaceable. In the meantime ni macam mana?